loonyblog.

Like many obsessive-type people, I have several little things that I’ve hunted for at conventions and on eBay for many, many, many years. Some, I’ve long given up any hope of finding (like a working Panther unit or a Halcyon), but others, like my quest to remember which superhero family cartoon I remembered so fondly (it turned out to be Bionic Six, I tracked down tapes, and yes, it does still rock), I have had the good fortune to uncover.

While I may never find that Halcyon, I can say that yes, I have at long last gotten my hands on a copy of Betty & Me #40 from 1972. Why on earth would I desperately want to get my hands on an Archie comic that’s over 30 years old? Read on and all will be revealed.

Now, before I continue, let’s get the legal stuff out of the way:

Important Legal-Type Text

You still here? Good. Let’s continue.

Almost ten years ago, I read an article in The Comics Journal about a renegade Archie comic from the 70’s that would never, ever, ever be reprinted (the article was titled “A High-Wire Act in Riverdale”, and was by Ron Evry in TCJ #172 if you want to track that down). The article contained snaps of two panels from the comic, and explained that in this rare comic, Archie and Betty shack up in a motel, and there’s quite a bit of risque dialogue involving the removal of their clothing.

Now, obviously this is Archie, not a parody, and it’s all done in good humor and with the trademark innocence that one would expect from an Archie comic. But it’s surprisingly lurid for an Archie book, and I vowed to track this down.

Now, even if you don’t collect comics, you can probably imagine how hard it is to track down a single Archie comic from the early 70’s. There are literally thousands and thousands of Archie comics out there, with hundreds more every year. And people don’t usually keep large backlogs of Archie comics. Why would they? And when they do, those collections tend to be a bit…chaotic. After a while, all those titles tend to run together. I mean really…who can tell Betty & Me apart from Betty, Betty & Archie, Betty & Veronica, Betty & Jughead, Betty & Betty and so on. Trying to find a single issue of a single Archie book is like looking for a needle in a haystack.

Complicating matters for me, is that I lost that issue of The Comics Journal and didn’t even know which one that article was in (it wasn’t exactly a cover story). So all I knew to look for was Betty & Me issue…somethingorother, from the early 70’s (or was that the mid-70’s?). I sifted through a lot of comics over the years, and never found it. But as I’ve been going through my collection as I prepare to sell off the majority of it, I went through every single issue of TCJ I came across hoping to find the one with the article. I finally found it, got the issue number and year, and began a precise search online to find Betty & Me #40, and finally, earlier this evening, it arrived in my hands.

So really, how is it? It’s awesome. If you’re easily amused, that is, and oh, am I ever. Anyway, the majority of the book is like any other 70’s era Archie comic. Same old stories, only with better clothes (sorry, but I think 70’s era Betty was freaking hot, and I admit that with only a small amount of shame). But then there’s the story in question. So let’s go through that, shall we?

The story begins rather innocently, with Archie and his groovy chick Betty going out for a drive. But Archie’s beat up ol’ car (complete with flower and the words “Right on” on the driver’s side door) gets a flat. So Archie goes out to change the tire, and when he’s raised up the car to change it, he inadvertently bumps the car, sending it into the river. Oh, Archie. You get into such trouble.

With a cry of “this is freaky!” Archie jumps into the water to rescue Betty. He does, but they’re both soaked in the process, and when they come out of the water, they’re shivering. Luckily for our heroes, there’s a motel nearby. But of course, a motel wouldn’t give a room to an unmarried couple, would they? You better believe they wouldn’t, so our lovebirds have to sign the register just like an honest-to-goodness married couple.

So they get a room, and Archie starts a fire…and here we have the greatest panel in Archie history, where he asks Betty to get undressed:

So the happy couple gets good and naked. Here’s an especially risque shot of Betty:

Just as they’re settling into their pseudo-married bliss, Betty decides to give her father a call, and well, as you could expect from his totally not with it generation, he overreacts:

So Mr. Cooper shows up just in time to see his daughter running around in a towel:

There’s the inevitable confrontation, which results in this great panel (you just know Mr. Cooper’s never liked that scruffy Archie character):

Now, this is all just a big misunderstanding, so Betty and Archie figure all they have to do is take her daddy back to Archie’s car and all will be forgiven, right? Sadly, big daddy Cooper’s generation is just not that cool. They go back to the where the car should be, but it’s gone. They try to explain it, but Mr. Cooper ain’t buying that story for a second. Archie took his daughter to a motel, and so that means he’s going to have to do the only honorable thing…marry her. Seriously, I’m not making this stuff up. I especially like the line “I heard that this younger generation was a little free with their morals.”

So Mr. Cooper yanks Archie and Betty and throws them into a car, and drives to Archie’s house to have a long stern talk with his parents, where they will iron out the details of his daughter’s betrothal (I’m guessing a goat or two might change hands). But wouldn’t you know it, when they arrive, Archie’s father is relieved, as he had gotten a call from the police, saying they picked up Archie’s car down by the river.

With an actual parent vouching for him, Mr. Cooper calms back down. Archie’s relieved, and walks off to bed. But before he goes, Betty asks if they still have plans to go for a ride in the country next week. Archie expresses his amazement at that, saying he doesn’t think he could go through all that again! The always-witty Betty says, “if you wanted to go, I thought I’d bring along a couple of bridesmaids!”

Ho, ho…now that’s comedy.

I kid, but really, this is a priceless treasure. Sure it’s easy to make fun of, but it still says a lot about the time in which it was written. And while I did make fun of the whole Archie thing here, I do think I should point out that I really do have a soft spot in my heart for Archie comics. May they last forever, so that every other generation we can look back at a story like this and laugh all over again (albeit for a totally different reason).